The ‘Nice Guy’ Dilemma

Well hello there, it’s been a while. I know what you’re thinking, but I’ve had very good reasons (okay not that good) for this inactivity of mine. But we’ll save that part for later. Cause I know you don’t care why I’ve not posted, and I really appreciate it that you’re even here so the blog starts right from the next line, and I know your eyes were down there even before you read it. Stop smiling now, you may read ahead. Time for some good old philosophy.

So, let’s start with a question for all you guys reading this.

Are you a nice guy?

Well, those of you who went “OFCOURSE DUHH”, you’re definitely not a nice guy my friend, no don’t even think about it. (But do keep reading though, I have love for you too) But to those of you who felt like, “Yeah I’m kinda nice, I’m a good person”, well congratulations, you’re not nice either. Now before you squint your eyes and go “kya bolraha hai” in your head, let me explain. So according to a famous study that never happened, which means this is just my observation, if anyone of us guys think, that we are ‘nice guys’ in 2019, we are most definitely wrong. But the reason we think that way is not our fault either. What has happened is, that there’s been a paradigm shift of the definition of these very words in our lovely society. And this is what I wanna talk about today, that the definition of a ‘bad guy’ has gone so far forward being bad, that the old ‘just normal’ has become the new ‘good’.

So let’s go back umm, maybe 20 years ago. So this is year 2000 (yes, 2000 was 20 years ago), and let me tell you, being a good person, or being a ‘good guy’ was bloody damn hard. In order to qualify for being called ‘nice’, you had to go out of the way and actually do nice things. Amazing isn’t it? I assume you’re thinking “it’s the same even today”, but that’s where it gets interesting, it’s not the same. By nice things, I mean actually going out of your way, and doing things like say running to hold an open door, or checking on someone passing a bad comment, maybe really putting yourself out there to help someone and let’s just say earning the right to be called ‘nice’. The point I’m trying to make is, just a few years back, being a nice guy didn’t mean talking softly, or not swearing, or not making the cheapest of jokes, even not cheating on someone. Those were things that just a normal person did, it was nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing special. We’re making a little sense here now aren’t we?

So as evolution has taken its course, the bad guys have really stepped up their game. And it’s not just about their abilities, trust me, their population has skyrocketed too. Now while I’m in awe of this amazing development of the ‘bad guy gang’ over the years, I don’t think the society has gotten any better because of it. Let me give you guys a demo like the great Rancho from ‘3 idiots’ would. Look around you, and ask this question to any girl near you. (Tell her it’s a survey. She’ll think you’re a ‘nice’ guy.) And to the female population reading this, you answer this in your head.

“Has a random stranger ever messaged you in a way that you would call it online harassment?”

Now I think for 99.99% of you, the answer must be ranging from a big “YES OFCOURSE” to a normal “yup”. And to the 0.01% of you who are the lucky ones, message me if you exist, I want to see your face. The point is, that these bad guys are everywhere now, and they do everything from groping someone in public, to messaging someone on the internet, and simply get away with it. But we’re adaptable creatures aren’t we, so our society has conveniently conditioned itself with this behaviour. We just don’t get surprised now, nor do we find it weird, because it’s the only way we’ve seen the society to be like. The funny part, and it is infact funny, is that the bad guys stepped it up so well, that being bad is often considered being cool too. Now you have to give it to them, they’ve turned our generation so well, that some of us actually get appreciation for being dickheads.

But to the guys who’ve wanted to be a ‘bad boy’, and to the girls who’ve said they like a ‘bad boy’, it’s not your fault either. You’re very much a sufferer in the problem. And coming back to our issue, what this rise of the ‘bad guys’ around us has done, is that it has made us appreciate just being ‘normal’ more than it should be. Trust me, us ‘normal’ guys, we have it smooth and easy. Cause we’re like the rich kids who’ve grown up with appreciation for no real reason at all. Being ‘nice’ is not that difficult today as it was in a generation before us, because being ‘bad’ is quiet sadly, the new ‘normal’.

The bottom line of this is, if you’re a guy in 2019, you just have to be normal, in order to be called ‘nice’. And I think it’s a bigger issue we’re all guilty of causing than we realise. So to all you guys who’ve made it this far reading, I appreciate you doing that, but next time you’re on a cloud flying cause you think you’re a ‘nice’ guy, think again. Because chances are, you’re just a normal person, that’s how everyone should’ve been and acted. And I don’t mean to say that it’s not something to be not proud of, because it is, and I give it to you. But trust me, 9 times out of 10, all of us can do more, we’ve just rarely been made aware of it. And to all the female readers who’ve made it till here even though I’ve said ‘guy’ in this blog more times than I have in my entire life, I appreciate you your kindness also. But next time you call a guy ‘nice’, you should think again too. Are you saying he’s nice because he really is nice, or maybe you’re just so used to the pollution now, that the average blue sky feels like fresh air?

Heavy wasn’t it? Take a minute, let it sink in.

P.S.

Coming back to the irregularity of these blogs. Firstly, I’m aware, and I know I should be posting regularly, but it’s also important to me, that this blog doesn’t start to feel like a job to me. So while I promise that my goal is still posting every Sunday, I’ll only be able to be as regular as I can be.

Also, if you have an opinion about this post or any of the posts, please share it with me on my Instagram because I’ve noticed you have to become a WIX member to comment here, and I know we’re the lazy generation and nobody would ever do that. (I’m assuming that’s where you came from so I don’t need to tell my username to you)

So, since hope drives the world and that’s the way it should be, I’ll say I’ll see you next week!